In times past, families stayed put. Young mothers lived near their parents, and ties between mothers and daughters, grandmothers and grandchildren, were easy to maintain. But the modern family finds generations stretched across states, countries, even the world. Families are more challenged to stay connected, and holidays like Mothers’ Day can be a difficult. Using a mix of technological and time-honored tricks, here’s how today’s children, mothers and grandmothers remain close across the miles:
Stay low techThere’s something to be said for the time and intent that go behind a hand written letter. From scribbling a note on paper, to sending a recent picture or finding a perfect card, mailed letters are a great way to bridge the miles. Packages are also welcome.
“I send pictures whenever I can to both my dad and my grandparents,” said Nikki, who has a preschool daughter and is expecting a second daughter this year. “I’d love to Face Time or Skype but that doesn’t work with them not knowing how to use it. Both my father and my grandparents send cards and things every holiday.”
Alison, who is busy raising her own family, has fond memories of connecting with her own grandparents.
“Back in the days with no cell phone and no computers, having family 9 to 15 hours away was tough,” she noted. When she visited extended family each summer, Alison said, her grandmothers would teach her a new skill and Alison would write to update them on a related project during the school year. “By the time the next trip rolled around,” she said, “I would show off my project whether it was cooking, baking, quilting, crochet, needlepoint, etc.”
Today, she is especially grateful for these childhood memories.
“Now that both grandmothers and my mom are gone, things I do in everyday life lets me know they are with me,” she said.
Go high techGone are the days when phoning across state lines was expensive. Most people have free long-distance with their phones, not to mention options like texting, Facebook and more. Skype allows users to connect via computers or smart phones and tablets. Facetime is a similar option on Apple devices. Voxer is a walkie-talkie app for smart phones. Using these technologies, it’s convenient to reach out across the miles.
Renee’s children are grown and her young grandchildren are scattered from Pennsylvania to New Mexico. She said programs like Skype and Voxer are a great way to keep in to touch with preschoolers.
“I’m not good at writing,” she added, “but letters would be good also.”
“We Skype with Sam [an infant grandson] in Annapolis,” Deb said. “His smile and delight at seeing us is awesome.”
Techie options are also great for staying connected to older – even adult – children.
“Lots of phone calls and Facebook,” confirmed Cheryl, who lives with her tween son several states away from her parents.
Adult children pose a different challenge – while using technology is an easy way to connect, finding the right time to do so is problematic.
Gale, whose adult sons both live in different states, said her family uses “Skype, cell phones, texting, email….one son often calls when he goes for a walk at lunch, the other when he walks home from work.”
Don’t forget face-to-face timeWhile a mixture of the high- and low-tech options are great for ongoing communication, it’s important for families to find ways to get together as often as schedules and wallets can allow.
“I love all the techy ways we keep in touch as well as real, handwritten letters and cards,” said Gale Elizabeth. She lives in the south, her children and grandchildren are scattered across Pennsylvania. “But we do treasure every precious minute we have with our children and grandchildren. Because that time is only about twice a year, one of the perks of being a long-distance parent or grandparent is that we can focus on nothing but happy times when we are together.”
No matter how you choose to connect to a mother, child or grandchild, make sure you just, well, do it. Make the effort to build and maintain common ground, and you will build precious memories for your entire family.
“My daughter and granddaughter are three hours away,” said Karen, “and it is so hard. I cry sometimes when I think about how much I miss them and always pray for their safety. I keep trying to talk her into moving back here. In God’s time.”
“Do they make cell phones that call Heaven?” added Lori, who lost her mother about nine years ago.”I’d give anything to call my mom and talk to her, and ask her what Heaven is like and tell her how much I love and miss her. [I’d also] tell her everything she missed watching my girls grow up.”
