Loyal readers have probably noticed over the years that I’ve praised my Pennsylvania Dutch grandmother and father on many occasions, and have made little reference to my mom. By no means intentional, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately, since I have lost both my dad and “Nana,” and my aunt most recently, who was a very good woman, and all too recent! But if one subscribes in the nature versus nurture notion, then one may find themselves in a debate, if your core make-up and development are products primarily of innate, inborn or inherited traits or learned behaviors and environmental factors that determine one’s aptitude more so. Again, not a psychologist, but what I remember. For the record, I fall somewhere in between, I guess.
My point being, if my “smarts” were passed down from my dad, I certainly believe they were ushered in or “nurtured” by my mother. When I was in college, with her being so proud, whenever I brought company she used to bring out an old tape recorder with cassettes of her teaching me the alphabet, me learning various things and us just talking. She was so young, having me at 19, but here, this college aged, young woman at 22 teaching this two and three year old smart aleck kid so much, preparing me in advance for school. But most importantly, she was so focused on my development! I know now she wanted to afford me opportunities she and her family didn’t have.
Ironically, Mom’s heritage actually boasts a richer ancestral past and heritage, but that’s for another time perhaps. I just needed to take this time to mention how special my mother is to me, and I needed to tell her that I love her, because without her early support, and without her being on me at such an early age about the importance of school work, effort and practice in furthering and maximizing my education, I would not be as academically sound or invested as I am.
This past May, coincidentally, marked 20 years of dedication and my life that I have devoted to the American Folklife Institute, namely Richard Shaner, and he has reciprocated his loyalty to me, as well. But for 39 years, my Mom has been my biggest advocate, and it brings me at times great shame not to have given her more credit, with all the hundreds of published articles, communication skills expressed through numerous lectures, developed early on by her. I have never forgotten that small basement apartment we lived in with my little sister when my parents divorced and the struggles we endured.
Living off cereal, instant potatoes and milk, I undervalued how hard it must have been for you! My humble beginnings retained, I will always be a mama’s boy. I even stuck with my mom’s side Nazarene-Methodist church and not the typical PA Dutch Lutheran or Reformed denomination. I still owe you a birthday concert, and one of my favorite pictures on my phone is our Mother’s Day Concert to see one of your favorite bands, Hall & Oates. And I know you’re just a couple streets away, about a mile and a half away, but there is no reason why I shouldn’t or couldn’t visit you more often, because I’m realizing now how delicate and short life is! That is all on me, and I am sorry!
I cannot think of a life more enduring, as I’ve seen you bury numerous sisters and brothers, and you lost both parents before I was even born; yours should be a life celebrated for perseverance. And your steadfast devotion to your kids hasn’t gone unnoticed, as I know Angela has always remained by your side. I even remember as a child of nine or thereabouts, taking it personally when I’d ask which child was your favorite and you would say you had to love God more than us, more than me, more than Angela. But as a grown adult and parent of two, myself, I’m realizing your kids were your number one on earth and always have been. So, I thought it most appropriately, during this Thanksgiving holiday, I give thanks to you, and am very grateful for all of your (my mom’s) givings, sacrifice and love. I love you, Mom!
Richard L.T. Orth is assistant director of the American Folklife Institute in Kutztown.
