I know many good mother – my sisters, my children and my friends. But, I know of no other mother that exemplifies motherhood then my sister-in-law, Millie.
At one year of age, Millie, and a sister, a few years older, were given up by their mother. They were raised by her father and grandmother. Millie is quick to correct anyone who feels she might have had an unhappy childhood: “I had a wonderful childhood with my father and grandmother.”
Indeed, Millie triumphed over this hurtful childhood experience by striving, always, to be the best daughter and granddaughter, the best wife, the best mother, the best surrogate mother and the best sister-in-law she could possibly be.
She was always there for her six daughters: Cheryl, Jacqualine, Elizabeth, Katrina, Sharon and Carole, even being active in helping her husband, David, start and maintain their Christman Sanitation business. Millie wore many hats. Sometimes she did desk work. Sometimes, if needed, she drove truck, even while nursing her last child while stopped along the road. Since her husband’s service years and his hearing problem, she became his “ears.” Since retirement, and her husband’s triple by-pass, she also became his feet and hands.
Even with all of the above, she had her father, in his elderly years, and his “special” sister, Dora, moved into a “little house” nearby. After her father’s death, she was Aunt Dora’s only caretaker until Dora’s death, some 30 years later.
Her daughter, Sharon, told me, “Mom taught me unconditional love for her father and aunt. She was proud of them. She NEVER put herself above them and selflessly took care of them. They had meticulous care in every detail – menus, medication, doctor’s visits, bathing, etc. She couldn’t go anywhere for longer than a few hours. If she was able to go on vacation, she got someone there to take care of Dora. What was her compensation? Absolutely nothing, except she loved her family and knew it was the right thing to do.”
Today, the six girls are married, yet Millie is always there for them and their families. No matter how many miles one of them moves away, she arrives to help them unpack, clean and set up housekeeping.
Her daughter, Carole, told me, “When Mom comes to ‘visit’ at any home I’ve lived in, she wants a ‘to-do’ list. Once, when I lived in California, Mom noticed I had a two-car garage, but the cars were always parked outside. The garage itself was loaded with boxes. In no time, Mom (with the help of my sister, Jackie) went to Home Depot and bought shelving units. By the end of the day we had enough room to park two cars!”
Another daughter, Sharon, also vouches for her mom: “Always, when I moved, Mom is either packing, cleaning or emptying boxes. She’s great at organizing a kitchen, too! One year, Mom and Dad drove the moving van from Illinois to Virginia for us, so we could ride in the van with the kids.”
Cheryl, the oldest daughter, has a recent story on moving. In her own words, “Mom helps me so much with my continuing problem with chronic fatigue. I needed to get my house painted. I was moving soon and it needed work before I could rent it. I had already scraped the money together and bought the paint. Previous to Daddy’s heart attack, they had scraped the old paint on the house. One morning, I heard a noise outside my window. It turned out to be Mom and Daddy – painting. Daddy sat on a stool painting the lower portion. Another morning, I thought since the ladders were around, I’d patch a hole in the roof. Before I knew it, Mom, at 68, was sealing the roof!”
Elizabeth also attests to Millie’s helpfulness when moving: “Mom likes to be busy and helpful and lighten our loads so we can focus on other things. In 2002, I had minor surgery. Mom planned a trip for her and Amy (my niece) to visit so she could help me after surgery. She took care of everything for me – grocery shopping, cooking, walking the dogs, washed all the windows, scrubbed the bathroom and kitchen – anything she could get her hands on. I couldn’t have done it without her and Amy’s help!”
Jackie, who recently married, told me, “Mom always tried to be the best mother she could possibly be. It’s an amazing feeling, knowing that your mother loves you and is always there for you, whenever you need her. I’m glad I was able to spend so much time with her these last few years. We did a lot of things together, including insulating the addition to the house. She’s taught me all the practical things you need to know to run a home. We’re really very blessed daughters to have a mother like her.”
Katrina enlisted in the Army after graduation. This is her story during basic training in Fort Jackson, North Carolina: “We were allowed to call home on Sundays. Mom was always waiting for my call. In addition to calls, I received three to four letters a month, filling me in on everyone, the weather, whatever she thought of. I was told, my Mom wrote me more than any other girls in my unit. I was very proud of that. Not only could I count on her faithful letters, but care packages came as well. I had asked her to send junk food, but disguise it. We weren’t allowed to buy anything. As Mom always does, she went beyond the call of duty. She’d empty powdered soap boxes, cold cream boxes, bar soap boxes – any kind of box she could find. She filled them with the same weight that was written on the box. I’d get care packages about once a week. All 30 of us would huddle around the bunk and dig into the treasures we found in the box. She wasn’t just my Mom, she was Mom Christman to all of the girls in my unit. All of us agreed, we had never seen anyone put so much love in a care package as my Mom did.”
Incidentally, Jackie was on mission for her church in Chile, South America, after graduation from college. During this time, both Millie and David flew over to visit the family Jackie stayed with. Since that time, this Chilean family receives regular care packages from Millie, in America.
Next week, we will talk about Millie some more, and her role as “Grandma Millie.”
Carole Christman Koch grew up in Berks County and has been published in numerous publications. She has a passion for writing and has many stories from growing up on a farm to everyday stories.
