Funny thing. I can sit here at my computer looking out the picture window trying to decide what I'll write about today. I must be the exception to the rule that, "No man but a blockhead writes except for money."Frequently I read about "writer's block." It's "drawing a blank" with an empty page in front of you. You lose your train of thought and find it difficult to continue your letter, or column. "Not me!"
My feeble teetering mind runs the gamut from arbitrary to comedic topics to express in black and white.
Being poor has one distinct advantage. It doesn't take much to improve your situation.
Much of the pleasure I derive from writing these weekly columns comes from the variety of letters I get from readers. They range from the critically discerning, to the outright fault finders ready to take me apart for something I've composed.
Occasionally there will be a real gem. The following is a letter that actually should have been addressed to "Letters To The Editor." It's neither an approval nor a reproachful of me, rather a sycophant looking to see his complaint in print. I got to give this fellow "credit;" it appears he has no money. The nice thing about his writing me a letter is that he can use words he does not know how to spell. I've learned long ago how to decipher illegible mail. Here in his own inimitable style is his whimpering and wailing disyllabic displeasure:
Deer Mr Adams-i aint the smartest guy in the world and i sure aint the dummest-one thing i do no-i am just a liddle guy and there trying to take me over-me and mom work our fool heads off tryin to make ends meat and we get eatin up by taxes-heck i aint got no job for six hole months and mom is workin 20 hours a weak-mom cant clame no dependints cause i clame both of us-so she dont bring home much-them govermint guys spend money so fast it makes my head swim-now they gotta have more taxes-why i say?-they want another raise maybe-you know what-i am paying u.s. tax-boro tax-skool tax-occipation tax-gas tax-state tax and tax on tax-how much can we squeez out of moms hundred and fourty dollars a weak anyway?-its gettin so a body cant keep nuthin anymore-that is mom and me put together-when i get back to work sum day maybe we will make enuf to pay sum taxes-i aint gonna argue it must take a buncha money to run the govermint-but heck if they dint spend so doggone much money on dum things they woodent need so much-they say the state is goin broke-man i should be so broke-they got millions-so why take me and moms money?-they got a lotterie-thats the ticket-hah-they can get the money from them there gamblers-maybe i will buy a couple tickets-maybe even becum a millionair-then i would givum sum-anyway til then they oughta leave us liddle guys a lone-me and mom
This guy certainly has made his "mark" in the world, 'cause he sure can't write. If his I.Q. was any lower he'd trip over it. I think this fellow is a fugitive from the law of averages- educated below his smarts. He doesn't know when he's well off because it's obvious he never is. He takes his troubles like a man, he blames his wife.
But you know, he just might have a point in his own mumbo-jumbolled way. Better go get a job good buddy. It is no disgrace to work, it is obvious you got your wife to believe it.
People say that hard work never killed anybody, but on the other hand did you ever know anybody that rested to death?
He didn't ask me to withhold his name, that was my idea. The best way to lose a friend is to tell him something for his own good. Work is a fine thing-if it doesn't take up too much of your spare time. Write when you get work friend.
E-mail: LST281@AOL.COM Or: this newspaper.